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withoutuiwither
25 April 2009 @ 01:06 am
;3;  
http://taion.wordpress.com/category/satsuki/

Getting that.
End of story.
Tags:
 
 
Current Mood: anxiousanxious
 
 
withoutuiwither
29 March 2009 @ 12:52 am
Until your distress sleeps,
Fill me up with your grief.
Until your distress sleeps...

Hello, dear; my bride
何を見ているの
床に散った 蝶も拾えぬその目で
Hello, dear; my bride
What are you looking at?
You can't pick up the butterfly that fell to the ground with those eyes.


忘れたいのは 白すぎた苦痛
信じてると 言い聞かす
傷は消えない
What I want to forget, the pure white agony...
If I believe,
The wounds I've substained won't heal.


踊る 踊る 眠らせてと踊る
止まぬ涙
声を殺し 弱く震える手に 唇を落とす
Dance, dance, I let you sleep and dance
The tears won't stop.
Kill your voice, and with those hand that quiver weakly,
Clean your lips.


Hello, dear; my bride
足元を焼く
耳鳴りにもう 近づく必要など
無意識に吐いた 息が肌を沿う
寡黙揺らす刃に 笑みを
Hello, dear; my bride
Your feet are burning.
The buzzing in your ears is becoming a need
Your breaths of unconsciousness
Runs along my skin
The smile in the blade that swings silently.


忘れたいのは 白すぎた苦痛
信じてると 言い聞かす 
傷は消えない
The thing I want to forget, the pure white agony...
If I believe,
The wounds I've substained won't heal.


痩せた夢に 冷めぬ今が写る
悲しみさえ 素顔だよと 答えてくれるなら
傷ついてもいい
In the barren dreams,
The reality that does not wake up reflects the present.
Even the grief...If it answers me with a real face,
It's okay if I get hurt...


忘れないで
痛みを知る 貴方に惹かれた鼓動
ここで
Don't forget;
The throbbing is attracted to you, who knows pain,
I wait here...


「おやすみ」
"Goodnight."


踊る 踊る 眠れるまで踊る
止まぬ涙
何もないと 心を伏せる度 枯れそうだと
痩せた夢に もう一度を歌う
悲しみさえ 自分だよと 答えてくれるなら 
傷ついてもいい
Dance, dance, dance until I can fall asleep.
The tears do not stop.
If there is nothing, then the time that closes the heart
Will wither away.
In the barren dreams, I sing once more;
Even the grief...if it answers me with myself,
It's okay if I get hurt...

Until your distress sleeps,
Fill me up with your grief.
Until your distress sleeps...

終わるはずの夢に「さよなら」が咲いてる
In the dream that should end, "Goodbye" is blooming...


The only thing stopping me from going over the edge right now...
 
 
Current Location: Trinity
Current Mood: crushedcrushed
Current Music: Distress and Coma - Gazette
 
 
withoutuiwither
07 March 2009 @ 12:16 am
Oh
My
God


BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED
-rolls around-
I can't believe how much I missed my bed back home, its only been 2 months since I have been in it, but oh how I missed thee
I love you bed...
Please, never leave me
-roll-
Tags:
 
 
Current Location: BEEEEEED
Current Mood: ecstaticecstatic
Current Music: nought
 
 
withoutuiwither
19 February 2009 @ 05:27 pm
I am selling some stuff, as I have like no money and need to make my final payment on Euclase soon x_x

For sale I have a Pauls Boutique bag, Alba Rosa Visor and a sex pot jumper

details under the cutCollapse )
 
 
Current Mood: annoyedannoyed
Current Music: Rentrer en Soi - UNENDING SANCTUARY
 
 
withoutuiwither
31 December 2008 @ 10:43 pm
Seriously, the last few hours of 2008 are just dragging on and on and on.
I want it all to be over already!
I have hated this year, more than any other I have survived.
I cannot say I am leaving anything good behind from this; 3 failed suicide attempts, the disbanding of the only thing that has kept me alive, lies upon lies upon more lies, and the revelations of all of my weaknesses, flaws and failures.
I just want it gone and out of my life.
 
 
Current Location: Bed
Current Mood: depresseddepressed
Current Music: Collide - Howie Day
 
 
 
withoutuiwither
26 December 2008 @ 11:25 pm
I don't know what words even describe my mood right now...
I am sad, I feel like I am being crushed, I feel worse than depressed yet at the same time I seem completely numb.

Its now all over...
And I am no where near mentally prepared to be able to deal with this...
Fortunately delusionism is planning to come down for the weekend after this one, and when she does I want to go and get a new tattoo. Another comemoration one.
I don't care how inappropriate it'll be and how it may hinder me in the future, I am going to get 'STAY GOLD' down the side of my left hand, pinky side of it, in the same font as my Stigmata lyrics on my right arm. And then money depending, I will get a black and white lily taken from the cover of undending sanctuary done on the actual wrist next to it.
This is going to be the only tattoo I ever have done on the left side of my body, and that is something that is very strong for me in meaning. It has deserved its place to be there, and although I will be crying from the emotional pain when I get it done, hopefully the physical will help clear the mental hurt.
 
 
Current Location: Bed, back home
Current Mood: indescribableindescribable
Current Music: STAY GOLD - Rentrer en Soi
 
 
withoutuiwither
07 December 2008 @ 09:16 pm


Not the best idea I have had in a while...
'It can't be that bad. I'll just read the translatio- -weepweepweepweepweep-'
Atleast I listened to it now and not on christmas when I planned to safe it until.
I am not looking forward to Christmas this year as it is because of ReS and now this?
Some of the lines in it just hit a little too close to home...

But to try cheer me up...
(1 Point) What's my first name:
(1 Point) My last name:
(5 Points) Take a stab at my middle name:
(2 Points) Where do I live:
(2 Points) What color are my eyes:
(3 Points) Who am I in love with:
(2 Points) Where did we meet:
(3 Points) What am I afraid of:
(4 Points) Describe my taste in the opposite and/or same sex:
(2 Points) Do I smoke:
(3 Points) Do I drink/What do I drink:
(2 Points, +1 point for each name) How many siblings do I have:
(2 Points, +1 point for each name) How many pets do I have:
(4 Points) What's one of my favorite things to do:
(3 Points) Who is/are my favorite person/people:
(3 Points) What's my favorite type of music:
(3 Points) What do I eat on pizza:
(3 Points) Name something I hate:
(3 Points) Name someone I hate:
(5 Points) What are my parents' names:
(4 Points) Name a talent I have:
(5 Points) What are my vices:
(5 Points on creativeness) If I were stranded on a desert island, what would I bring:

Do it bitches.
 
 
Current Location: Bed
Current Mood: crushedcrushed
Current Music: Rentrer en Soi - STAY GOLD
 
 
withoutuiwither
28 November 2008 @ 03:14 am
.  
Its 3:15 in the morning
I have just sat ourside for half an hour smoking
I wanted to cry my eyes out and I couldn't even do that






Failure
Tags:
 
 
Current Mood: depresseddepressed
Current Music: Rentrer en Soi - Last Scene
 
 
withoutuiwither
30 October 2008 @ 10:58 am
So, after Manchester sold out we ended up going to Liverpool to go and see MUCC at Taste of Chaos!

It was a rather bit epic, I am still just gasming in my pants at hearing Ageha live! And the douchebag group of girls next to me who at first were like 'lol everyone's flailing like morons' then proceeded to get beaten (not on purpose I'd like to add) and also looked terrified everytime Tatsurou looked over at that half of the crowd! How can you be scared of him?!

But yeah, it was fantastic and I came out hot and sweaty and gross but my face and hair was still intact!

We were rather excited about the signing they were meant to be doing at 9:20, just to find out that they had had to cancel it as the venue was too small and they had nowhere to do it; borrocks!
So we hung around for a bit in the hopes that something would happen and it would magically be on, bought a new MUCC tee shirt, and then decided fuck it, its not happening lets go give outselves cancer and heart failure (aka, have af fag and get burger king)

SO

we are stood there in the queue, still all hyped up after the show as can be expected, Carrick had run off to pay the extortionate fee to use the toilet, and Jack and I almost cack our pants as we suddenly hear someone landing behind us, like when someone jumps behind you so we both had the 'wtf' face especially as they smack us on the shoulder. Now this being my first time in Liverpool thought I was gonna get stabbed or something x3 So we turn around looking perplexed and there is just this guy stood there and we both had this 'I know you but I don't know why....'

and he takes off his sunglasses

grinning like an idiot

and fucking

Tatsurou is just stood their waving at us in the middle of Burger King

WHAT IS THIS?!



First picture attempt failed as I tried to do it myself while I was shitting a brick, frozen with nervousness and generally being a failure

But then he kindly signed our tee shirts (the one I had just bought, rather than the sweaty one from last march) after I got the pen to work x_x Felt embarassed as fuck as I am stood their shaking this paint pen eratically and smacking it against my leg as he just stands their laughing.



Then got someone ELSE to take the picture and that worked a lot better. That expression on my face, yeah that is the 'OMG WHAT DO I DO ITS TATSU -spaff-' face.

I am just still buzzing from it and convinced its a dream.
Of all the members who went to burger king it had to be the one I just ADORE!

-deep beathe-

So yeah

Overall...
Good show!
 
 
Current Location: Snuggled up in bed
Current Mood: bouncybouncy
Current Music: Lee Evans lol
 
 
withoutuiwither
15 October 2008 @ 10:56 pm
I don't know what is wrong with me...

I have friends who care for me and I them, I am doing what I want and (as far as I know) getting along well in it yet I feel like such a failure...
Part of me just feels like it has died inside and for some reason I can't get it back...
I am sat here, feeling empty and crying my heart out onto the keyboard and I don't even know why...
 
 
Current Location: in my room
Current Mood: depresseddepressed
Current Music: Michael Danna // The blood of Cuchullain